Okay so I’ve been busy still looking for a job, had a good interview on Friday so I’m hopeful.  Cody is still working constantly and then spending as much time as he can with his girlfriend. Oh the young love, I remember what that was like even though it was a long time ago. Taking my life day by day and enjoying it without being depressed anymore. I have been having a great time each week with my friends and some new people in my life. Still working out and trying to loose some more weight. I’m happy and thankful each and everyday for all of the good things in my life. Much better than in years past because I was so depressed and wouldn’t move on past my sister’s death. Now that I have dealt with that and the loss of my dad(grandpa) I can move on and grow within myself. Been separated for 6 months now as of last week and that’s the longest that we’ve been apart, but we are good friends and that’s a good thing after 26 years. Well until next time!!!

Well its the second week of the New Year and things are still going okay. My birthday was okay and then I got to see an unexpected friend and spend time with them and I greatly enjoyed it. Still looking and applying for jobs and praying something comes very very soon. My son is still working and has a new girlfriend he is madly in love with. This is a wonderful thing and Im glad he is so happy. Still working on loosing weight and Im down by 53 pounds now and still going. Lots of changes in my life in the last 5 1/2 months of being separated by all is good. Well until next time…..<3<3<3

I cant believe that this year is almost over, so much in my life has changed. Things are getting better each day and I know that the new year will bring me a good job. I have found out who my true friends are and the ones that mean the most to me. I have found that Im stronger than I ever knew that I could be. Im finding out who I am as a person and I havent known  that for a long time. I am loving being single and looking forward to the new men that I will meet and have met recently. I have a big weekend ahead and then the new year begins and we will see what unfolds. Thanks to my biggest support which is my son….Until the new year !!!!!

Well I enjoyed seeing my step daughter and her  family it was a great afternoon. I spent yesterday with my son who turned 22 and we had a family dinner with his dad. It was a nice evening and it was good to see them together. Looking forward to the weekend for a party and to see my brother that I never see and just enjoy. Looking forward to the new year to continue on my journey to the new me, new life, and hopefully a new job. I am looking forward to the single life and what it will bring knowing that I did all that I could do and then some to make my marriage work. So we are both different people and deserve to be happy in whatever we choose to do. Thats it for now more next week.

Sorry its been so long, site had to be fixed and son has been very busy. So much has happened since last post, so here it goes. I went in August to see my son in NYC and then the marriage problems continued as always. I decided to leave my husband and did, we have been separated for 4 months now. I went up north to see my family and live for about 6 weeks in which I buried my father that raised me and got some things straight in my head for once. Been off med’s for over a year now and things are great. I figured out who I am and what I want in my life. Came back and stayed with a friend until my son got back from NYC. We moved into an apartment together and things are going great. He’s always working hard and I’m looking for work which I have a interview next week so hope all goes well. I have been eating and exercising and have lost 48 pounds and I feel Fabulous. I still see and talk with my husband on occasion but we are just friends and we have moved on to a new lives. We both get to be happy now and that’s what I wanted after 26 years. So here is to my continued journey in life wherever it leads me. Until the next time……

I’m trying to make sure that I post each week. Not much going on just the usual. I applied for 3 new jobs listed yesterday in the paper. But I’m sure there were millions of others who also applied. Staying busy with household stuff and reading a good book by Lisa Oz. Played Kinect last night with Cody and some of his friends. It was so much fun and wore me out but I need the exercise. Cody is working hard for new company and has a conference this week in Orlando. It looks like he is going to NYC in July for 3 months with the new company. Gosh I’m going to miss him but so glad that things are going well for him. Nothing much else going on just the up’s and down’s of being married, good and bad comes with this life. Sometimes I wish that I lived closer to my family what’s left of them, I miss them so much sometimes. But I hated the Indiana weather that’s why I moved to Sunny Florida. I have Dad is South Florida but I never get to see him, or my 1/2 brother that lives 15 minutes away. Well that’s it for this week unless something major happens. I did loose a good friend last week, he collapsed with a massive heart attack at 50 years old. You just never know when its your time..God bless until another day. And I’m 10 months with no meds, yeah!!!!!

Well I didn’t keep up with weekly posts. I get really busy sometimes with CPC Studios and I just forget. Not much in the way of changes, I’m learning to edit photos for Cody’s business. Learning and reading about new computer programs to strengthen my job skills. That way it will make me money to help pay bills at some point since there are no jobs still. Spirits have been good and my sister is actually doing better and things are looking up for her. My husband is still working and actually got a little raise last week, of course Uncle Sam gets that. Still struggling with weight, if I do good all day then at night I screw it up with snacking. Exercise doesn’t exist at this point, no energy to do any. I hope to get it all together and in place soon. Things are going well for Cody and his business is thriving which is awesome and it helps out at home. And he has chose to stay living at home because its cheaper. YEAH then I get to see him more, I would miss him to much if he moved out and then I wouldn’t have help on the computer when I needed it. Well that’s about it, hope life has found you all happy and well….God Bless!!!!

Not sure what to say today, just got done with household chores which is a usual Monday thing. Just thought I’d sit for a minute and just catch up. Normal week with the usual going on, spent time with Cody which I do a lot. Keith working as usual and then drinking everyday which has always been that way, he will never change. We did celebrate 22 years of marriage on Thursday; no big deal as far as I feel. Which to some may sound mean but we have always had a very rocky marriage to say the least. In the last weeks my son did mention to me something that he noticed about how I act on a daily basis. He mentioned that in the last few years that I have changed and don’t seem to have the spirit and joy that I used to have. I thought about it and then said the only thing that I could contribute it to was the death of one of  my sisters. Cyn died almost 3 years ago and no I haven’t been the same. Even now I hold back tears writing this…I miss her so much and I have grown up without my parents and my grandparents filled in and were Amazing to say the least.. But there is still a void, my other sister is not well mentally or physically and hasn’t been for a long time; this was only compounded by the loss of her Twin. I had to be medicated for years and then 9 months ago choose not to take them anymore. My choice was based upon the fact that in the past God had always helped me, along with my constant faith in him which I had been ignoring for years. I don’t think God was punishing me  by trying to get my attention back to Him. I just believe this was his path that he had chosen for me to take, and I needed to embrace him and stop making it harder than it had to be. I hope I’m making sense; I feel good most days which I try and post about. But its a struggle without having a job and always broke which makes me depressed. I’m in a crazy marriage of my own doing; can’t blame anyone for that except the two of us. I pray that I find peace in just making the most of everyday. If I learned one thing from my loss of Cynthia it is that life is too short. Oh yes we hear all the time but do we actually believe it. I DO!!!! Proof  is right there in front of me, I did also learn that I’m strong and I’ve got to pull through and make myself  happy no matter what. I want to live in the moment and in the light of my savior. I guess I did have a lot to say today, doing this blog helps me vent and to appreciate my life even with it’s up’s and down’s. After all many others have more problems then I do…Well until another day…God Bless and Keep You all Safe!!!!

It’s been awhile again…I forget to keep up with this thing. But I’m going to try and start making this a priority.

Life is good I guess, I mean I don’t get depressed as bad as I used too. I have my good days and bad days just like anyone else I guess. But overall I have been a lot better and 9 months without medication. I’ve been able to do this myself and in part by daily guidance and prayer from my Lord up above. He has always been a part of my life, but for a long time I didn’t make him first or keep in touch with my faith. Poor reason but nevertheless very true. My son is always and inspiration to me, and he keeps me going. Still unemployed which weighs heavily on my heart and mind. I need to be able to take care of myself and I’m not able to do that at this time or for the last 26 months. I know there are others in the same situation and I feel for you, but I need something to keep me going financially and spiritually. I’m reading a book called “crush it” which is helping in finding my passion and making it work for me. I have always loved music and it has always been a part of my life. But how to make a living at it is another question, still working on that too  figure it out. I just wish something would come along to make a paycheck every week to help until I figure it out. Now about my weight, well I have lost a little but nothing major and it’s been still a difficult road. I’m just out of control sometimes and I can’t stop myself  from trying to fill a void with food. I’m very aware of what I’m doing to myself but sometimes I just can’t stop myself anyway. I love to sabotage myself  in many ways, and think a lot of us do this in some way. I will get through this just like I always do. Well that’s it for now and I’m going to seriously try and do this more often….

Well things are going pretty good even though I still don’t have a job. I help Cody with his business which keeps me busy and keeps my skills up. Miss those paychecks for sure. Been going to the gym on and off but I have gotten interested in the new Xbox360 Kinect and its wonderful. Been keeping myself positive and have got myself of meds now for a few months, since returning from Indiana. Miss my family but not the weather for sure, its really cold up there already. Had a week of cold here early in Florida but its warming back up during the day. Looking forward to seeing what the new year will bring and what will be in store for me. Not much else to post for now, just making the most of what life and God has dished out for me. Until later then!!!!