Yes I am losing my mind

Today I had my first meltdown in the grocery store. I had a panic attack about the cost of food, and had to leave. I’m always worried about money but this was a first. I’m so sick of being weird. Nothing used to bother me and now everything does. I’m disgusted with myself over how I have let myself go and look and feel like crap. I have been drinking alot again and that doesnt help and i know that b/c I have been married to an alcoholic for 22 years. well anyway, I have got to find the inner me and get my shit together. I’m headed for a huge freakout if i don’t. I have two sisters that are crazy and on medication for it. So i’m part of the family addicts. I guess that’s it for today and we will see what another day brings…more bull shit!!!!!!!