It seems that I never have the time or the energy to keep up with this. But Im once again without a job and it was due to my panic/anxiety attacks. I was out on dr’s care and my work fired me. Now I have to find a new job when there aren’t any. But im hanging in there, even with all the stresses. Not much else to say for now…

I haven’t logged in in awhile. Been very busy and been spending alot of time on facebook. I moved my only sister left in with me from up north. She is still here in spite of having cancer. My dog of 13 years died on friday and that was a hard thing. Last Tuesday an old friend passed away and it just seems so dismal at times. But Im off meds again and the doctor is monitoring that to see if I can make without them. Hope all is well for a little while and just keeping it real…

Well life is never WHAT U MIGHT think But regardless of your spouses failures. God would know what 2 do.. your awesome i want to u see him...Conrats to my friends Keith & Linda hope ur well and happy.....

After all these I started finding some of my old friends from High School… My sis always thought she had the best of both worlds...But she realized that she was only as great as those who supported her....

Its my 42nd b-day today and Im still here. Have alot to be thankful for but I forget to do so. Im always obsessing about the little things. Miss my sister alot and Im getting closer to the only sis that I have left. My husband has made a big turn around and has lasted the last few months making changes to keep our marriage together. Cody is still awesome & doing well for himself. We will see what 2009 will bring for me and my family..bye for now!!!

What can i say except life stinks and sucks and we go on everyday...i luv my husband and my son/ but even my family and i still feel sad everyday. i dont know why but my sisters death seams to effect me more than any other family member. I guess b/c she was my best friend and i looked out for her always or so i thought/ I luv both of my sisters like there was no tomorrow and that is such a hard thing to let go. I have done this more than once in my lifetime being the oldest of 4 girls with a single mom, but all from the same father. Our mother wasn’t a whore but never felt the love and companionship that she felt she needed. Anyway my mom loved us and just wanted a man to love us as his own. Never happened even way back then b/c men are perverts but anyway i would like to just remember that i loved my mom & respected her for what she tried to do. My sisters and I are stronger than we think and we should always believe in ourselves b/c we are all that we have.. time to go for now and love the family that i have left....